The Art of Life

—I don’t have time for any.

And I don’t mean in a douchebaggy, self-righteous, pretentious way.
I just mean that I don’t like to waste anyone else’s time, and don’t like it when others waste mine.

If you don’t have your shit together—say it. If you don’t want your shit involved in someone else’s shit—don’t do it. If you don’t want people to think/feel a certain way about shit—don’t mislead them. If you’re confused about your shit—own up to that.

I realize I’m young and should be enjoying dating and whatnot,
but I’m also wise enough to know if and/or when something is leading to a dead end; in which case, I will stop it.

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I guess there are times I catch myself dealing into the game though…
compromising my steadfast beliefs to entertain the idea of someone, probably longer than I should. Against odds, against my better judgment, I take a shot—I say to myself, “No, hold on. Wait for it. Take a shot for the person who’s treating you like shit.”

Is this a testament to my subconscious value of self-worth?

Why can’t I accept the things that are good and happy in my life? Why do I feel the need to make payments in sorrow and frustration and anger in order to feel the good things? Why can’t I just cut my losses and make room for better?

Regardless of why I do it, I more importantly realize that it’s a pattern that I, and I think most people fall into. Setting up these self-destructive relationships/pseudo-relations. I think I almost get a kick out of it, making it feel like I’ve tried for something.

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2012: Try for the things worthwhile. No more bullshit. No more standing around for things I know in my heart are wrong. And no more apologizing for it.